Monday, March 10, 2014

I feel somewhat validated and also seethingly angry.  

Despite the pretty hard-boiled fact that only about five people actually follow this thing (thank you, loyal followers. I am sure there is help for whatever mental and emotional issues you may have already had that have been exacerbated by reading my stuff),  I got an email asking me to put a review of some kind of weird health food product on here. I am not naming it because that might be construed as an endorsement or a review and I don't want to encourage that.  The only things I ever endorse here will be unbidden--i.e., I really like something and want you to know about it.  Also no one in their right mind would ever pay me for that because I'd probably make some snarky comment about it even if I wanted to nice.

I'm guessing this is because I posted something earlier today about a restaurant, though I don't remember saying anything about the healthy/unhealthy nature of the place in question.  So I got to feel like one of those big time bloggers who has zillions of followers and who publish books and stuff.  Actually I think these folks were probably just spamming bloggers to see if someone could be suckered into reviewing their crap--which, from what I can tell, it is.  It seems to be some kind of snack bar made of grains, dried fruits and bat poop.

What angered me was their approach:

"We will send you samples of blablaproduct..."  Feel free, folks.  I don't usually eat that shit but I'm always down with free food, unless of course it really does have bat poop in it.

"You will place a review on your page with a link bla bla bla."  "You will???"  I'm not sure I like that commanding tone there, Sparky.  Saying "you will" do something to me is a sure-fire way to guarantee that not only will I not do it, but that I may kick you in the harbls.

This appears to be a specialty of spammers, who are often from non-English-speaking countries and fail to sufficiently familiarize themselves with the language of their targets.  They really need to learn how the English-speaking world phrases requests.

Anyway, I'm cool because at least someone thinks I'm big time, even if it's only the maker of crappy bat poop snack bars.

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Thanks! Now, go get a drink, sit down and enjoy the show.